California , 27,New mama to a beautiful boy, baby wearing, breastfeeding wherever, semi crunchy fan girl, book lover, sometimes photographer
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Neal Cassidy is So Important Week
Day 4: why neal is an important father.
his first act as a father was to apologize for not being there sooner.
Let me preface this by saying there’s not a single aspect of Neal and Henry’s relationship that I don’t love with every fiber of my being. It’s one of the most important relationships of the show for me, right next to Emma’s relationship with Henry. But I want to talk about this moment, their first real interaction— because much like the conversation Emma and Henry had in the pilot at his castle, this is the cornerstone the rest of their interactions built from. This is the first moment they get to connect.
At this point, presumably (because we didn’t see this happen and yes i’m still fucking mad about it), Neal doesn’t know Henry wasn’t raised by Emma. He doesn’t know that there was a point in time when Henry thought his birthparents didn’t want him. All the parallels that can easily drawn between Henry’s life and Baelfire’s from what we’d already seen in Desperate Souls and The Return— these aren’t things Neal knows. Neal doesn’t know yet to look at his son and feel fucking haunted by the past repeating itself. Neal just knows he’s looking at his son, his son who just expressed a desire to meet him. And I think that fuels everything for Neal for the literal rest of his life, honestly.
Neal’s first act as a father is to let his son know he wants to be there. He apologizes to Henry for not being in his life sooner— and Henry’s reply, of course, is that it’s okay, he didn’t know. And he didn’t. Neal’s not guilty of the same thing every parental figure he himself has ever had is guilty of— Neal’s never chosen something over his son. Neal has never abandoned his son. Neal didn’t know but fuck ok this is what gets me— to Neal, I don’t think it matters. I don’t think that the fact that he has a legitimate reason for not being in Henry’s life— not knowing he existed until five minutes ago— excuses Henry’s experiences of growing up without him, to Neal. It might mean he’s not to blame for the fact that he wasn’t there, that it wasn’t by choice, but it doesn’t erase whatever Henry might be feeling about it, and it doesn’t erase that he missed over a decade of this kid’s life he would have wanted to be a part of.
So he apologizes to Henry, because no matter what Henry thought or experienced, he wasn’t there, and he’s truly sorry he wasn’t. This isn’t a “i’ve got to be better than my dad.” This is the beginning of a “i can’t let him grow up like i did,” but it’s not fully there yet, not like it will be when he knows how very close to his own experiences Henry’s life has been. This is I’m sorry that I don’t know you. I want to know you.
And he can’t know yet just exactly how much that means to Henry—Henry, who, I think, very much started this show with the hope that he can be loved and, by the point we’re at now, has gotten to the point where he knows he is loved by his moms, his grandparents, his dad, so many people. But he knows what it’s like to wonder if your parents care that you grew up and they weren’t there, he knows what it’s like to feel unwanted. And he’s not for a second going to let his kid think that he anything less than 100% wants to know him.
So basically A fucking + dad-ing idk it is late and i have been writing this for a long ass time i’ve lost the plot tl;dr neal fucking loves his kid that is all.
Ginger meatball coconut curry over rice. Sooooo flipping good. Idea jacked from the newly refurbed Captain Cookes in Florida.
Give away going on on my Instagram! I reached 250 way sooner than I thought I would thanks toth3littlestavenger
!!! Go follow my Instagram shop miloscorner and enter to win some awesome hand made slippers! 😘
Also do you ever accidentally squish your own boob and then you’re like oooh squishy and then you just end up playing with the squishy boob for a few minutes
Last two and a half weeks has been baby wanting to crawl everywhere, getting bored with it and demanding help to stand and walk. 0.o dang it little boy, walking can happen later, stick with crawling.
Also if one more family member tries to convince me he’s ready for food I’m going to lose my shit. It’s milestones, not months.
I just found this really annoying. Don’t tell someone not to hold THEIR baby because it can be an inconvenience for a day care provider. If I wanted to hold my child 24/7, that’s my decision. I didn’t become a mom to convenience a babysitter that I’m paying.
That’s so fucking annoying
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
this is fucked up. this fucked me up. the teachers fucked up by not showing us this fuck up. fuck.
i’m 28 and never knew this
It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.
Slope Point,New Zealand
Trees bent by the relentless wind..
I only feel at home when I’m surrounded by trees, bodies of water, mountains, and the soft sounds of nature
Poison Toffee Apples by Simply Delicious
Star Wars X Dia de los muertos
Source : ufunk
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